i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
