but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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