booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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