i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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