So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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