Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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