well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
