New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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