I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
