i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
