he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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