opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
