He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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