I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
only you would photoshop your dick
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
