Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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