you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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