I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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