She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
