He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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