I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
