My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
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On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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