I want to have your abortion
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
