I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
