apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
