Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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