You made me cry and you don't even care
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
