We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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