It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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