I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Send help, water and tortillas.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got inside last night via doggy door
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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