honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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