the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
