you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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