hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
