Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
