We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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