I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
