Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
