just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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