Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
