New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
