Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
