I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
