he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
