I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
