i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
