You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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