I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We need a shit load of segways right now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
