I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
