any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
