That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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