mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
bring money and cleavage
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
