Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
