Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
