In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
