marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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