would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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