You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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